Showing posts with label thoughts. Show all posts

It’s not just about YOU,it’s about US

If you think that this post is about something juicy between me & the boyfriend,you’re sadly mistaken!I discussed this with the boyfriend,about my opinion & glad we're on the same page!Fidelity,honesty,intimacy & communication are very important to me..:)

This is about something that I have been meaning to blog about ever since I saw and heard how some other people are treating their significant other in a relationship.

Now,I am not an expert in love and relationship,far from it in fact.Thus this post is about my opinion and if you disagree with it,by all means it’s fine with me.

When you are in a relationship,it is not just about you and your own life anymore.You are basically sharing it with another person.Letting them into your life,knowing you,loving you and seeing all the layers that you have,one by one.

No matter how much you deny it,it IS a preparation for marriage.Thus through the relationship,you are basically trying to find the balance between the both of you,whether you are ready for the long haul as having to grow old with someone is not an easy thing to do!

Some of the things that I've seen others are doing to the their significant other,makes me really sad,dizzy and just plain wanting to give my two cents on it here.Because seriously,I'm sure if the person matures in the years to come,they'll look back at it & think,"man I was really stupid back then!".

I can't fathom how one can be in a relationship with someone & then says they wish that the other person didn't love them too much cos' what if they find someone better one day?Wow..I was just blown away by that line because it sounds so wrong to me.

What's the point of being with that person if you're just waiting for something better to come along?Plus,you can't control how much you love a person..how can you say to someone who's in a relationship with you to stop their amount of love towards you at a certain point?

It is also illogical if you think that you can follow your own 'beat' most of the time..You can be yourself of course,but not 100% because relationship is about compromise and assimilation and acccepting each other,thus you can't be all like, "F*$# it,it's my life,I can do whatever I want,say/write whatever I want--what is it to you?".

Just because you know that,that person loves you,doesn't mean you can treat them however you want.Remember,what you give,you'll get back!

When you're in relationship,you have someone who loves you and your actions or words will hurt them if you don't proceed with caution.You have someone who will miss you when you're not around,who worries about your well being and that is NORMAL.

What is not normal is when somebody doesn't like all those things ALL the time(if sometimes,it's normal cos' not everyone is able to compromise 100% of the time) & when that happens maybe you should reexamine yourself whether are you truly ready & want to be in a relationship or maybe you're in one just because.Be honest with yourself and the other person as well.

Love is simple,only people likes to complicate it.

Words to live by

Your biggest enemy is yourself or Your worst enemy is yourself(chinese proverb).


This saying is so true.Everyday we battle with our innner demons,our ego and our fears and it is one of the hardest battle to endure.Because it involves a lot of emotion,discipline and self-restraint. It is a constant battle because everyone has to evolve and mature at some point in their life right?

But it doesn't make it any easier.I know I'm less than perfect,but everyday I'm trying to become a better version of me.

The perils of the only daughter in the family

I would like to take the time and post about this in order to share my experience as being the only daughter in the family of boys and having an overbearing and overprotective father.

It SUCKS.Big time.You may think..wahhhh the only daughter,she doesn't have to share clothes or stuffs with any of her siblings,so awesome!bahhhh

Fine,maybe that part is quite awesome..the own room,own everything stuffs.But of course there's the not so great part too which at times weigh moreeee than the great part.

Some of the not so great part of being the only daughter in the family are..*drumroll please*

1.You have a super protective,overbearing,crazy controlling father who prefers you to stay at home all the time like an old fart!

2.He doesn't allow you to make any mistakes..you have to be perfect all the time..when you make one tiny slipup he will go berserk and scream and shout like there's no tomorrow.

3.Any boyfriend of your is his enemy and to him,have hidden motives towards his daughter.

4.Don't even dream of going on a holiday abroad on your own let alone in the country.

5. Don't talk about love,relationship or marriage in front of him.Those are taboo!

Thank God I have a pretty cool mother who most of the time understands where I'm coming from.That is why I told my boyfriend Razin that I am jealous with his family because they're just so chill and loving towards each other.

Whenever I go]to their house they're so nice to me and that is why in a way I am protecting him from ever having to meet my dad..fineee I know he has too someday but I love him too much to put him in that position.

I sure as heck doesn't want to scare him away though I know he's not that kind of person..he loves me too much too(barf sounds insert).He has met my brother though..and my mum is pretty cool so atleast there's somebody in the family who's supportive!:P

What I want..

Sometimes work can be stressful and demotivating..Thus,I want to write a list of things that I want other than being stuck here..

1.A big bowl of creme brulee from Zen cafe

2.A warm milk bath

3.A full body massage

4.A goodnight sleep for 8 hours or more--haven't done this in days--explain the pimples!

5.More alone time with my boyfriend!--yeah imma selfish like that..bwahahaha.

--Oooh,I conspired with his lil sis& took him away yesterday afternoon so that his family can set up a little surprise for him..they're so sweet & loving towards each other!My boyf has 5 siblings altogether,3 boys & 2 girls.

He had no idea of it coming & he was a bit miffed because I kept taking too long using the wifi at Tutti Frutti when all he wanted to do was catch up on some much needed sleep..Poor baby been having back problems & haven't been sleeping properly..:((

He was even more weirded out when I wanted to stay at his house & watch him practice singing/playing the guitar with his dad & brothers for his sister's upcoming wedding when in fact,I had to come into the house with him for the surpriseeee!

His expression was funny cos' he was so sleepy so he was like whatttttt?hahahah.Fooled you sayang!!!:P He got 3 presents from his family--lucky dude!haha

Will upload pics of it tomorrow!:)

Relax



I need to relax.
I need to destress.
I need a getaway of some sort.
Soon.
Or else I'm going to burst into flames.

All these stress are wreaking havoc on my complexion.
Pimples are popping up when they don't usually do so.

I really need some solitude and peace and quiet.Hopefully I'll get them during these 2 days.

Oh,saw someone today that I haven't seen in a long time..and guess what,there's nothing there anymore..inside,I meant.Which made me feel so glad like you wouldn't believe.

Currently in my heart & head there's only one guy & he has taken up all the space inside.:)

Transition--from graduation to the working world

I have been working since middle of June last year.It is definitely a whole different world compared to my uni days.I am so glad that I have close friends who are experiencing the same thing and who understands each other's situation as well.

Oh and this month I have been working the 3 cycle shift.Which means sometimes my work starts at 2pm or 3pm or 12pm or 7.30 am & the worse is 11 pm(yes,the midnight shift!).So I will get a schedule for the whole month at the start of each month so that I can plot my off day(which are given as well as in I can't request to have an off day anytime I want to!).

The upside is that you get a bit of a pay raise & the downside is that you don't work the normal working hours.

Soooo,let me list down a few of the things that have change ever since me & my friends transition from the uni world into the real world--the working world..It's not all peachy keen folks!

1)You have to schedule your dates/gatherings/functions according to your work because it's hard to have everyone being free at the same time and plus if you don't you'll get fired..cos' unlike uni days where you can skip classes,skipping work shows that you're a free loader & also you'll get an earful from your manager & worse,get fired.

At my workplace,even MC's are frown upon.So yeah,sometimes it's hard because you have to plan your life but if you don't you basically won't have any time to spend with your loved ones and friends.Thank god I sort of like to plan things.

Because of my work I have miss 2 weddings & it's unfortunate,but it is what it is.Atleast I was able to go to one of my bestfriend's wedding,Napisah last year!

2)Less time or no time to see your friends who live faraway from you.Most of my close friends are experiencing the same thing so they understand this one.

Hanna & Napisah are busy pursuing their masters at USM while also teaching at UiTM Merbok.Napisah is also busy being a wife.The last time I saw them was during graduation.Yeah,THAT long time ago.But we do keep in touch though & I know I have to visit them in Kedah soon.Hopefully my work schedule in March permits me to do so!

Hani is teaching at UiTM Perak and I haven't seen her in ages too.But she knows I love her & she does too,it's just that we're busy with our life!Mak(farhana) is teaching in KL at ELS.Miss her as well!But they know about me & my boyfriend as I've told all of them everything & updated them from time to time so they don't feel left out.I haven't seen Yaya(in Klang),Izlin(teaching in Kelantan),Hafriz(teaching in KL) in ages as well.

Tatie & Nadia are in KL & we do catch up sometimes.The last time was during Sep's wedding a few days ago & then at Empire afterwards.

And last but certainly not least,Izza Izelan.The one who text me during Valentine's Day & wish me!aahahah.She's even busier with work than me..like super duper busy.So she understands the most!Next to my boyfriend of course..hehe.

Manage to hang with her for both days during the weekend & she have met Razin as well & they get along so it's all awesome!She's going to Bangkok next week which I'm a bit jealous about but she's going to buy me a few stuffs--so yeayyyy!:P

3)You can't come home at 2am or 3am in the morning anymore.Back when I live with my friends during uni days,we can go out in the wee hours and stay up to do our assignments.But living with the family cancels that out which Izza,Tatie & Nadia are experiencing as well.

And plus,generally getting older,your body needs more sleep.ahaha.

4)You have bills to pay.Earning your own money means you have to start paying your own bills.You can't ask money from your parents anymore as well.I now have to set aside a big amount from my pay for my car bill,credit card bill,post paid bill,student loan bill,and many others.

Plus I have to divide the remaining for shopping,food & petrol.Once you start working,then you'll know the value of a hard earned pay!

5)You gain weight!First,when I started working,I lost a lot of weight because I was too busy to even eat & plus,I was going over a breakup.

But now after almost 8 months of working, and since working means sitting at the desk & your friend brings food & you bring food too & also when you go home,you feel tired & doesn't feel like exercising,you gain weight!

Add to the fact that I am in love and he makes me happy & he doesn't mind my fats & likes to make fun of it in a cutesy way & he feeds me & makes me more happy & have a healthier appetite now.Okay fine,so it's not his fault,I know,I know.

I HAVE to,in some way,incorporate some semblance of exercise into my life.STAT!

Will blog more when I remember more things to say.Am at the office cos' today in the schedule,it's my working day!But lots of my workmates are here as well.Yeay!

Congrats Harimau Malaya(part 2) dalam bahasa melayu--isu cheat laser.

Okay,sebenarnya nasib baiklah pemain2 negara kita menang pada final ke-2 AFF Suzuki 2010 di Stadium Gelora Bung Karno pada 29 hb Disember dengan aggregat 4-2.SEBAB,kalau mereka kalah,kita boleh salahkan kerajaan Indonesia yang tidak menjaga mereka dengan baik sehingga tidak boleh praktis sebelum perlawanan.

Mereka hanya dapat memanaskan badan di tepi kolam renang hotel penempatan mereka.Sedihkan?Mula2 nak pergi praktis di stadium yang lain(bukan Bung Karno) sebab ye lah banyak orang2 fanatik dah mula menunggu di stadium bung karno dari pagi lagi.Tetapi,on the way ke stadium yang lagi satu,bas mereka terpaksa berpatah balik sebab trafik apetah..eeeee geramnyer!

Jadi ternyata & terbukti pasukan kita memang jaguhan & layak menang --walaupun tidak dapat berlatih sepenuhnya seperti pasukan Indonesia,mereka berjaya menunjukkan prestasi yang cemerlang dipadang.

Apa yang saya tak paham,kenapa segelintir masyarakat di Indonesia,membaling batu ke arah bas yang sepatutnya dinaiki oleh pemain Malaysia disana,serta menghina dan mencaci negara kita di internet pada malam mereka kalah 3-0 kepada pasukan Harimau Malaya semata2 kerana beberapa penyokong pada malam itu memancarkan laser ke atas kepala botak Markus.

Dan paling kelakarnya,mereka menjadikan itu sebagai ALASAN mereka kalah.Walhal,kejadian itu berlaku sebelum gol2 dijaringkan malam itu.ish2.

Kenapa terlalu fanatikal dan tidak boleh berfikir secara WARAS?Wajarkah menghukum pemain2 kita atau menghina Malaysia oleh kerana perbuatan penyokong tersebut?Bukannya pemain kita yang menyuruh penyokong menggunakan laser itu.

Paling menyedihkan ialah sewaktu lagu Negaraku dimainkan sebelum perlawanan terakhir di Bung Karno & penduduk2 Indonesia mengejek2 pemain2 kita.Mana sportmanship yang diaggung2kan?

Sedih dan kecewa oleh kerana sewaktu Indonesia dilanda musibah,kita selalu menghulurkan bantuan tapi acapkali mereka memburukkan nama negara kita dan kita bersabar dengan cercaan mereka.

Tapi,apa yang dipaparkan oleh masyarakat Indonesia ke mata dunia yang menyaksikan gelagat mereka di internet pada malam kekalahan mereka di Bukit Jalil dan sewaktu pemain negara kita berada di sana,menunjukkan bahawa mereka senang melatah dan terlalu fanatikal dan cepat menghukum tanpa usul periksa.Sunggu menyedihkan.

Itu yang membuat saya bengang--membenci sesuatu yang diri sendiri kurang faham hanya kerana orang lain juga berbuat begitu.

Yang kelakar,setelah pasukan Malaysia menang di Bung Karno,masih ada juga yang ingin menghina di Twitter saya tapi setelah saya bertanya kepadanya,kenapa mahu menyalahkan pemain2 kami atau kami yang tidak kena mengena dengan kejadian laser tersebut?Haaaa.Terdiam mereka2 itu.Paling kelakar,selepas itu ada seorang lelaki indon di twitter cuba mengayat saya..dibilang saya ini 'cakep(cantik)'..ahahaha.Haih..manusia2.Macam2 ragam.

Apa2 pun,syukur alhamdulillah pemain kita semua selamat sampai ke tanah air & membawa pulang piala AFF Suzuki 2010!

Kepada kerajaan kita,cubalah berbuat sesuatu takkan sampai bila2 nak biar nama kita dibusukkan di sana?Fikir2kanlah.:)

Congrats Harimau Malaya(part 1)

Despite the hostile treatment that our players received in Jakarta--I am still pissed that they had to practice at the hotel & not the stadium & had to be lead into the stadium with 'kereta kebal'--you guys deserve every bit of your victory!!:))

SUPER SUPER CONGRATULATIONS!!Read the news HERE--for those who missed the game--BOOO YOU!ahaha

I'm at work&just now after the tweets by KJ,The Star & our PM himself last night,it was announced officially at the office that tomorrow is a public holiday!!!!

I have sooo many things to write about to culminate our victory after our boys won the AFF Suzuki 2010 cup,after 14 YEARS of not being able to bring the cup home!!Yeahhhhhhh

People might be surprised that I actually watched football for both final AFF Suzuki matches since the only ones I've watched was when I was the girlfriend of a goalkeeper & I had to follow him to his matches or risk his dissapointment--I remembered when I had to go to Napisah's engagement & he would rather I watched him play instead(couldn't go to his match since I arrived from Ipoh around 5 something in the evening & his started around 4.30 I think).

And I remembered getting so riled up when a very big opponent stepped on his knee during one of the matches & left a deep gash on it & I panicked like mad,bought ice,plaster,dettol & blah2.So I guess I do have a bit of footie in me.ahahaha.

The most talked about man right now is of course Khairul Fahmi--penalti pon tak masuk wei!!!And lots of lasers was pointed at him during a part of the match but he stayed stroooonnggg!And whats up with the gulf of smoke at some point during the match??pfttttt!

And Luna Maya & Manohara went to the stadium?Who cares!But then again,where were our celebs during the 1st final match?haaaaa!:)

Say what you want but I still believed that the MVP award & the US $ 10,000 should have been given to him!Not to whatsis name--ahaha.
Will blog more later tonight!!!

A milestone


One of my bestfriend,Izza,told me a few days ago that our upcoming graduation will be one of our life's milestones.

In life,we don't have that many milestones...What is a milestone?A short definition that befits my graduation would be --a turning point.

Aside from graduation,some of life's milestone would of course be your wedding day,the birth of your first child and etc.Some of my personal milestones happened this year as well--1st time I truly fell in love,1st time I celebrated my birthday not being single(though now I am back to that--hey,I am nothing if not a survivor!)...:P

Initially I thought that I would just wear one of my cotton baju kurung for the day but then after talking with Izza & her mum,I changed my mine and went to DRIAS to look at my graduation outfit since Izza bought hers there as well.

Settled on this red one & bought it the day after,after getting consultation from my mama..she said a young person like me(her words okay!) should not wear such dull colors(initially I wanted a bronze/nude-ish songket one..hehe).Izza also said I look better in red..So red it is..

It has got to be THE most expensive piece of clothing I have yet...The most expensive dress I have cost me around 110..and this baju kurung is rm561!But it's okay because I got a discount & bought it for rm391...:)Plus,one's FIRST uni graduation is a once in a lifetime thing.And mama also said that it can be worn for other occasions as well...

I also bought these shoes...Aren't they simply gorgeous??

I have more to blog about but I'm just so tired and sleepy lately...have to get some much needed zzzzzzzz...:)..Next post will be about things that I wear almost everyday/comfort things!:)

I leave you with this quote below which I just love!!

“I don't understand how a woman can leave the house without fixing herself up a little - if only out of politeness. And then, you never know, maybe that's the day she has a date with destiny. And it's best to be as pretty as possible for destiny.”Coco Chanel

Life questions

In the midst of watching Sebening Keringat on TV3 and it makes me sad..Because the villain is the eldest son and yet he does not provide for the family.Instead he treats his family members so horribly!

It made me so angry since I am the eldest daughter in the family and I find that,being in that role means that you have to be a role model to your siblings and also be a good son/daughter.

Questions reeled in my mind while watching this drama..some of them,I'd like to share with you..

1)Will I be successful and earn enough money to ensure that my parents are well take care off when they get old?

2)Will I be able to have a family of my own,become a good wife and mother to my husband and children when I get married and teach them the importance of family and to be good?

3)Will I be able to help my brothers when they are in financial trouble(who knows,later in life right?)?

I just want to work hard and cement a bright future for me and my family.I remember my dad telling us a long time ago that he has no other 'harta' other than us..his wife and children.That's why I get easily teary eyed whenever it comes to any sad stories about families on tv.:( Appreciate your loved ones before it's too late to do so..

Opinions/Pendapat

Currently I am busy baking lotsa cookies from friends who ordered from me--11 'balang' of choc chip cookies to bake(only 7 balang left to bake!!)---,sewing on beads for my bridesmaid outfit---I thought I'd be easy but it's actually pretty tedious cos' you have to sew the bead on one by one---,and also reading 2 books simultaneously--yeah i'm a MULTITASKER extraordinaire... :P

My family members and close friends knows that I am an outspoken person.I was raised and educated in a way that I can voice my opinion on a lot of matters but it also requires tact as you can't just say what you want to say ALL the time or else you will get into big trouble.

I have a few opinions which I'd like to blog about on a few matters and those who disagree or agree with them are very much welcome!

The place that I grew up at was taken over by a different party a few years ago.They promise a lot of things but didn't deliver.In fact they made things worse and the proof in the pudding is the various news that are coming out on tv and the newspapers lately and of course,people jumping parties.

The situation is worse when even the royals are miffed at them.I just have one thing to say about all this--Power in the wrong hands will corrupt and even power in the right hands will corrupt. 'Buat kerja tak ikhlas,macam tu la jadinya!'.A few years back you talk smack about your rivals and now you are doing the same thing that you said they did.tsk2

Another thing that has gotten me a little bit piss is about a certain actor who is angry with the fact that a certain young director won in the recent FFM.-___-.Nak berbahasa Melayu sikit biar best..:)

Hello,dah hang tak menang tu terima je lah.Adatlah ada kalah dan menang.Mungkin tahun ni rezeki orang tu,tahun depan rezeki kau.Tapi rasanya orang2 yang baca statement2 yang dikeluarkan oleh kau dalam dada akhbar baru2 ni pun tahu menilai siapa yang kurang cerdik.Susunlah ayat yang keluar dari mulut itu baik2 sikit.

Ayat yang paling bodoh sekali bila dia cakap si polan patut segan ke ape tah dgn dia sbb ye lah,girlpren dia sekarang bekas makwe si polan tu.Eeeeeeeeeeeee gelinya aku!Kalaulah aku ditempat girlpren dia tuh,mesti sangat malu wei sebab boypren anggap kau macam 'trofi' or dalam bahasa inggeris--A PIECE OF MEAT!Macam,'Haha,aku dapat bekas awek kau!'--MATANGLAH SANGATKAN??

Hah,ni ayat ni bukan dibuat2 ye,sebab keluar dalam akhbar yang ada kredibiliti,alah yang keluar setiap pagi ahad tuh.:P Kepada si dia yang menang tuh,takpelah,mulut orang memang susah nak tutup.Kepada orang yang tak habis2 bising tuh,sudah2lah jadi SORE LOSER!!Menyampah aku dibuatnya.

Passed out!

Due to lack of sleep these past few days...Tonight after work & dinner,I literally passed out & just woke up..hahaha.Didn't even bathe!BAD,I know!But I had a really good sleep & woke up to the picture below that a super lovely person made for me..Thanks so much Syaza Adela!!xoxox

Made chocolate pudding along with vege tempura for dinner!Pics of the luscious pudding is below & the recipe is HERE --reduced fat cos' it doesn't use eggs or full cream milk.
Ooh,am I high maintenance?Well,I guess I sort of am in the sense that I spend a lot of my OWN money on MYSELF & in making sure that I look good BUT even when I was in a relationship,I never ever ever ask money from my ex or ask him to buy gifts.He never gave me anything but love & that was fine & truly enough for me.

What wasn't was when he always put someone else ahead of me,almost all the time & didn't consider how I felt time & time again.Although I know he felt guilty & torn cos he told me about it a few times but saying & not doing anything about it it's just...well,it hurts.That's all I can say.

And,I love love buying gifts for my ex & he has quite a number of things from me..Funnily,I was not that generous with other guys in my life cos' like I said,I prefer to spend money on myself but with him,I wanted to give him everything & if I could,I would have.

That's just the way I am when I am in love I guess..I have this need to nurture the person I love..ahaha.I give stuffs without expecting anything in return cos I like giving things to people that I love because sometimes when you go out & saw something that made you think of them & coincidentally you have the money,you just had to buy it for them.:)

I remembered my ex saying that it wasn't hard to take care of me & compared to the other girlfriends of his friends,I was the least high maintenance cos' I never bothered him.To me,he doesn't have to give me stuffs or money...even on my birthday,when he didn't give me anything(but he treated me to a dinner,& his friend cooked for us cos he's a chef at that place)& we tend to go Dutch when we go out & it was fine by me because what mattered the most was how the person made you FEEL.It's not about what stuffs he GIVES you.

For someone who has a lot & has been given a lot by her parents,what I need most from a guy isn't gifts or money,it's attention,affection & of course,most importantly unconditional love.:)

So yeah,I might be high maintenance,but I 'maintain' everything myself.:)

Ooh,on Monday,system was down at work the WHOLE day so didn't get anything done & instead surf the net & purchase my FIRST item from an international shopping site--HERE.

Currently I am wearing 3 diff perfumes which I alternate according to my moods but my fave,Paul Smith Rose has already finish(the other 2 is D&G 18 La Lune & Paco Rabbane Ultra Red..SAD!!Soooo,I had a wift of the perfume below in the November issue of Instyle(never miss a single issue since I was 15 years old--doesn't matter that it's rm18 per issue..used to be rm25 & I still bought it!),it smells amazing & I WANT IT!!


Gonna buy it using my next pay next month as a graduation gift for myself--yes my convocation is in a few more weeks...Can't wait!Though it's bittersweet cos' I wish he was there on my big day(I remembered when he said he was going to buy me for something for my graduation..sigh..I do miss you,you know?)

And,I have to go to my company annual dinner although a lot of my friends are ditching it but somehow I have to go..damn!I guess it'll be fun since it will be held at Sunway convention center BUT the theme is BOLLYWOOD & I have no freaking idea what to wear & I sooo don't want to fork out a lot of money for something that I'll wear just for that night..sigh..Plus,it's on a weekday night!I have to think about what to wear cos' it's in less than 2 weeks!

Okay,gonna brush my teeth & wash my face(too late to bathe now!) & continue sleeping...zzzzzzz

Praktikum bukan utk main2..:)

Tak elok kan cerita kisah2 yang boleh mengaibkan orang...akan tetapi,kisah benar ini terlalu kelakar dan menggelikan(gross!) untuk tidak dikongsi di blog ini untuk tatapan anda semua..hehe.Ini tentang kisah seorang gadis yang namanya harus dirahsiakan,belajar di poli & menjalani praktikum di sebuah pejabat milik kakak rakan saya.

Gadis ini dari luaran sangat sopan kelakuan dan tutur kata serta bertudung litup.Rajin sungguh dia di pejabat sehingga selalu minta kepada majikan untuk pulang lewat dan majikan pun memberikan kunci ofis kepadanya kerana dia selalu pulang hanya selepas semua orang di ofis sudah pun pulang.

Suatu hari,salah seorang pekerja di ofis,merasakan bilik tempat mereka selalu mengerjakan solat kelihatan lebih kotor dari biasa.Dan mengesyaki mungkin pelajar poli itu menjadikan ofis tempat tinggalnya di waktu malam.Kakak kawan saya pon menyuruh salah seorg dari pekerjanya untuk menjadi mata2(spy) sewaktu dia harus ke negeri lain & menjenguk ofis dari jauh, selang beberapa jam untuk memastikan kesahihan dakwaan pekerja yang lain.

Sampai pukul 4 pg si ahmad(bukan nama sebenar) menjenguk2 ke ofis sambil lepak di sebuah restoran makanan segera 24 jam yang berdekatan,ofis masih berkunci & tiada lampu menyala dari luar.Ahmad pun balik la ke rumah.

Al-kisah,salah seorang pekerja yang juga kawan rapat majikan pergi membeli barang2 harian di sebuah pasar raya kecil sederet dengan ofis tersebut & dia nampak kipas aircond ofis berputar dari luar.Dia pon terkejut & menelefon kakak kawan saya bertanyakan tentang hal itu.Terus kakak menelefon Ahmad & suruh dia segera ke ofis kerana baru dalam perjalanan pulang dari negeri lain.

Ahmad,bersama 2 pekerja lain & juga kakak kawan saya(yg berjaya sampai beberapa minit selepas ahmad) pon masok la ke dalam ofis.Alangkah terkejutnya kakak bila melihat si gadis bertelanjang bulat di atas sofa ofis bersama seorang lelaki yang BUKAN teman lelakinya tanpa seurat benang pon!(selimut pon xde ke??ewwww)

Setelah mengambil beberapa foto sebagai bukti,si majikan mengejutkan si gadis bersama skandalnya itu.Tanpa segan silu si gadis boleh pula bertanya begini..'Eh,kenapa tak cakap nak datang ofis?'(oleh kerana hari itu hari Sabtu!)..sambil tidak memakai baju oleh kerana mengikut sangat nafsu,baju dia entah diletak di mana.Ahmad,terus meluru ke tandas kerana termuntah melihat bentuk badan si gadis--INI KISAH BENAR YE!--yang gempal & tanpa seurat benang itu.

Majikan pon memecat la gadis itu & mennghubungi pensyarah si gadis tersebut.Apabila majikan berkata bahawa si gadis tidak boleh menjalani praktikum di pejabat berkenaan lagi,pensyarah itu pon bertanya kenapa.Walaupun majikan tidak mahu menceritakan apa sebenarnya yang berlaku,dia akhirnya akur atas desakan pensyarah & terpaksa membuka pekung pelajar tersebut.

Oleh kerana pensyarah itu baik hati,dia tidak menceritakan kisah ini kepada pihak atasan & sebaliknya menyuruh pelajarnya itu supaya menjalani praktikum pada semester hadapan.Jikalaulah pihak atasan tahu,tentulah pelajar itu dibuang dari poli.

P/S:Kakak kwn saya telah pun MEMBUANG sofa tersebut oleh kerana geli & kerana ia digunakan sewaktu hendak berbincang dengan klien2 beliau..ewwwww!

Moral of the story:Waktu praktikum,jagalah tingkah laku anda.Ini tidak,dahlah melakukan perbuatan terkutuk lepas tu tak tahu malu pulak.ish2.Saya ingat lagi sewaktu saya dan rakan2 menjalani praktikum,kami amat berhati2 dan menjaga imej universiti kami.Bila saya mendengar kisah ini,saya tak percaya ada pelajar sebegitu 'berani'.Jangan kerana nafsu serakah,anda hampir2 merosakkan masa depan sendiri..Renung2kan!

Oh really?

I know I'm a girl,but sometimes I truly wish that I can beat people up!Like go up to them and give them a huge kick in the ass & let it rip!grrrrrrr

This my blog and it's about my LIFE..what I do,how I feel,where I go and yada2.If you don't like what I write here,then don't read it!Easy right?

How can anybody in my situation,be okay & not be bitter, when someone who 'claimed' that they love you & was thankful to have you, just stop contacting you although you have tried to be very nice & make things work,even when all of your friends say DON'T!Cos' I want to believe that despite the cool demeanor,he has a heart lying in there somewhere.But I was proven wrong time and time again & of course,it hurts.It's like you can't help but wonder if all that was said before this was just a big fat lie?

And it's not something you can be okay with just like that.I have a heart & although we're not together anymore,although we don't see each other anymore,although we don't talk anymore,I still care.And it's sad when I think about the fact that he'd rather let his emotions get the best of him rather than stop to think it through.Although he claimed that I was the emotional one throughout our relationship,atleast I don't let it affect me for more than 1-2 days & then I'll be okay again..

But,clearly it wasn't me who's emotional now..Because I managed to tell him how I feel about our situation & even then, he still couldn't rationalize things..So what should I do but move on?Why I should I wait for someone who doesn't want to be waited for?

Most importantly,if this is a test from God to see whether we would last or not,what does it say about him and us?Cos' although he claimed that I threw him away,atleast I know what I did was wrong and tried to make things work..but ultimately,he was the one who pushed me further away from him and did not make an effort or even move an inch..he just stood still...

But it's okay, because with a whole lot of hurt,I know in time a lot of joy will come...I just have to believe that everything happens for a reason & I might not see it now,but I'm sure god has plans for me.Who knows right?

Making the most out of life

I'm sorry to say that people who are apathetic about life,are losers to me.Life is full of opportunities and we're suppose to make the most out of it.I am not one person to sit around and do nothing and just lepak2 every night.That is so not me.I find people who always lepak at mamak or anywhere like every night,doing nothing for hours is just wasting their time.But I do make a point to atleast reconnect with my friends and ex-students and others,atleast a few times in a month.

I am very independentI like earning my own money and have been doing so ever since I was a kid.Even back in uni,I'll make sure I'm making some money from a few part-time jobs every semester(READ THIS OOLDDDD POST OF MINE ABOUT MY PAST JOBS) so that I don't have to always rely on my parents whenever I want to buy something that I want(not need).If you spend a lot,you have to be able to work hard to earn a lot as well.

My parents never raise me with a silver spoon in my mouth..although some people might think it looks like it...but actually,there has been times when our family has been tested with financial matters but we persevered.My parents always instill in me to not 'susahkan orang'.Thus when I see people who sit on their laurels and just doesn't go out there and be proactive in life when they are healthy and can do so,it really annoys me.

I'm 23 years old and it's been 3 months since my parents have cut off my allowance.They don't give me money anymore.Not even duit raya..:(.Now I am learning to manage my own money.I have bills to pay and although it's a bit hard at first,now I feel a bit accomplish knowing that I am growing up and little by little,coming out of the cocoon that I was in.

Doing better..








Somebody asked me a great question recently..."Do you really want to end up with a jerk?"...So,NO TURNING BACK..:)

Sad things that I saw with my eyes

*Been AWOL from blogging for a week because both of my mentor(about to deliver her baby so had to speed things up) and supervisor(just got pregnant & isn't feeling well so have to speed it up too) have been observing me for 4 days straight since Thursday*

2 things that I saw last week that made my heart sank and made me to remind myself to appreciate what I have and not complain much and just to be thankful for the fact that I have a roof over my head,enough food and love and such.

No 1:Last Saturday,my mum and my siblings were waiting in the car for my dad to withdraw his money.Suddenly my mum pointed out to a decently dressed woman who was rooting in the trash bin, collecting empty bottles and cans.Her friend was going through the contents of another trash bin,not far away from it.They were collecting trash to turn into money maybe to feed themselves or their children.Who knows..

But it made me sad because it was in the city and she wasn't shabbily dressed either.If we walked pass her in a mall or by the street we might think that her life is okay.But what's on the outside doesn't necessarily reflects what it is on the inside.

Watching her and her friend that day humbles me, because I tend to complain about trivial things to my parents.Things that are minuscule compared to the problems of others in the world.

No 2:I was driving back to Shah Alam from my parent's place one evening and it was raining heavily.A few minutes later,I saw a man walking by the roadside and he was soaked and he carried a bag and it looked like he didn't have much to live by with.It was just really heart wrenching because it was raining cats and dogs and here was a man who just had to push through and walk miles to go home.

When I said miles it's because the road was in the middle of nowhere and was surrounded with vegetation and the nearest housing area(where my family lives) was miles away.

All these things made me realize how small my 'problems' are compared to others who are trying to merely get by or survive from day to day. Their situation reminded me of this quote--'He who has a why to live can bear almost any how. '--Friedrich Nietzsche

Dearest everybody that I love...haha

Due to the fact that this is my last semester..which means I have to complete my Practicum + Thesis(Academic Exercise) THIS semester.I’m hoping that all of you know that you are still important in my life but it’s just that I won’t have much free time to spend it with you because to be frank,it’s been 3 weeks & I only managed to go back to my parents house which is only like 30 mins away,for just 1 day!

Thus,I would like all of you to not be hurt or feel neglected by me because currently my time is preoccupied with trying to figure out creative ways in which I can teach my students, arranging the debate team for the school, going to sports practice twice a week (since I’m the secretary for the sports team),figuring out how the heck I am going to finish my AE and trying to atleast get 4-5 hours of sleep so that I don’t look all squinty eyed at school.ahahaha.

Despite ALL that,I do miss my friends who are happily embarking on newfound love(ehem2,uhuk2 Izza..muahahaha),going to cool places or just plain lepak-ing at Pelita.This is because during my free time all I want to do is SLEEP.hahaha.Anyhoo,school is a blast despite the nerve wrecking feeling of planning lesson plan the night BEFORE you teach your students.

All I have to say is,if whenever my friends want to see how I am doing,you’ll probably see me lurking in the evening/night in Sect 2 photocopying pages and pages of handouts/worksheets/blah22 for my students.Seriously,I spend lots of my money on printing/photocopying nowadays.

It’s a small world after all: Even when I’m confined in school,my students still have some connection with the people around me.Case in point,I have 3 cousins at the school that I’m doing my practicum and all of them are in the morning session which I’m in and I’m TEACHING one of my cousins.ahaha.One of my uncles(my mum’s cousin) is the Vice President of the PTA.3 of my students are close friends with a few cast members (Ghazi,Sonia & Ziany) of Whoa! Willow!! which I recently was a part of.

A group of F5 boys hung out with this bohemian dishevelled looking chick whom style I reckon looked like a homeless person from behind and the 2nd time I bumped into them,it turns out,she is my cousin whom used to be a teeny little girl and has blossomed into a Mary Kate/Ashley clone.We hugged and shrieked because we haven’t seen each other in quite sometime and much to the chagrin of my sports team students whom I am closed with, whom poked fun at me because a few days ago I was making fun of her.In my defense,she was wearing sunglasses so I didn’t know it was her!sheessh!

I have so many things to blog about but due to the fact that there’s SO MANY THINGS TO BE DONE and ROS report has to be send this Monday..yikesss..Better get back to work!!

That Feeling

I have family and friends who love me.Although I have to admit sometime being single does suck. You can’t drag your friends to each event that you want to go to. They have their own lives too. You can’t tell them everything about you because they have problems too. Sometimes I think it’s nice to have a guy who wants to take care of you for a change. It’s nice to be able to rely on someone for once.

Sometimes when I see my friends who are in love and there’s a lot of them around me,you can’t help but wonder what does it feel like? What does it feel like to truly miss someone that your heart hurts? What does it feel like being able have someone who is there at the end of the day, standing there with a big hug when everything isn’t right and just with that hug, makes everything alright? Yeah, I am actually a closet romantic. I haven’t had a chance to ‘come out’ yet..:P

I am not an impenetrable rock. Although some of my friends said that I tend to jump from one guy to another. One even said that she can’t keep track of whom I am dating because there’s been quite a few. Which in my defense, it’s like 4 guys in 1 year, 5 tops. Hey, I’m only 22!

But trust me, if I go out with you, it means I actually like you enough to go out with you. But if a second date doesn’t happen or I stop texting you, it means that we don’t click enough for me to want to take it any further.

I don’t flirt with every Tom, Dick and Harry. When I fall for someone, it’s hard for me to fall out of it. I have to say that out of the many, there has been only 3 guys that were able to make me truly fall for them .2 of them are faraway from me in the sense that they don’t live in Klang Valley and one is actually thousands of miles away from Malaysia. The other one I am still friends with.

The first one was amazing but I was too young to fully understand what we had or appreciate him. The second one has great chemistry with me and I loved him and he knows it. But the miles apart affected the feelings that I had and he became too horny for my liking and he made me feel objectified. The last one was very complicated and we both made mistakes, but I still have feelings for him, I won’t lie.:)

There, I am not on some kind of celibacy since there were many almosts. The thing is, I prefer to date around rather than be in a relationship that makes me miserable, feels trapped or won’t go anywhere. When I do settle down with a guy and commit to him, it would be for the long run and I will be the best girlfriend to him ever..cehwah. hahaha.

I tried..any thoughts from my friends??

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