I wish I could

I wish I was not the way I am...
I wish was much much cooler and calmer
Like Izza is...She's able to forget,very well..
As in forgive and forget
But I don't know why I find it hard to let go of things and still remember all the bad things that happened,all the betrayal,all the hurt
If I could forget,I would be much much happier and not as 'panas' all the time
But I am the way I am
I really really wish there was a way that I could be that way
Because it will be much easier for me to get along with others
Maybe it just need more time for me to be able to truly and completely forget what was done to me by others and forget what they did and be all cheery with them...
But right now I can't
I still hurts
And I don't expect you to understand...